Jeans

My best kept secret lasted nine months.

Tucked in the back pocket of my jeans

and in the folds of a straining, pumping heart

so I’m shaking my own drooping shoulders like

wakeupwakeupwakeup

and in bold a dozen times

EDNA WHAT DO YOU WANT WHAT IS IT WHAT DO YOU WANT EDNA

and she drifts around in response like the sea the sea the sea

so of course that’s no help, but Edna swimming, I’ve felt it.

I felt it.

I felt it out of nowhere

but the currents are less extreme now and the water is warmer and it rains on Tuesdays and there are moths on sweating violets

If the sea meant all that it means without also meaning solitude, then maybe it wouldn’t be so seductive.

Do you remember how you felt the last time these trees were so green?

I ran my best kept secret through the wash.

Faded, we mess around sometimes,

but the beautiful thing I believed in is missing from me.